I'm not posting on just Paranormal Activity, If I did you wouldn't get the whole story of the night, which is pretty, interesting, funny, and worth it.
My best friend and I get to State College, and the movie theatre. We go see I hope They Serve Beer In Hell, Tucker Max is the man, but it's not horror so it doesn't matter, Flash forward to after I had two monsters and we drove around town, continue to flash forward to about a little after ten I go to start my car to drive down the road to Sheetz, it doesn't start. Yup, car battery = dead.
It would be shit right out of a horror film IF we hadn't been sitting in the movie theatre parking lot. Not so scary. I'm telling you this to show my extreme loyalty to the horror genra. don't understand, you will in a minute... keep reading. A (cute) theatre worker tries to jump my car with no luck, I call my mother and she starts trying to figure out what the fuck to do without anyone coming to get us.
There was no way in fucking hell I was driving all the way to State College, on Penn State homcoming, to see this movie that basically no one can see, that I was lucky enough to see, just to have to wait outside the theatre for a fucking tow truck to come and jump it. NO FUCKING WAY. I had already bought the tickets anyway.
I would rather be stuck an hour from my house in a parking lot all night with my best friend than run the risk of missing out on this movie that I KNOW NOTHING ABOUT. Just to bring you guys a review.
Seriously that's dedication.
To the moooovie. Now all I knew going into it that it was a fake-o-mentary, and a ghost, and it scared the shit out of people. That's it. Not much to go on right? Actually it was the perfect amount of info to have, I didn't know what happened, there fore I could really get into it.
It started off pretty slow, you were introduced to Katie and Micah a couple that has too much nice shit for what they do in life. Katie is a freak that's been followed by what we find is a demon since she was 8. Micah buys a camera. BAM you have a documentary type movie. A psychic comes to the house to talk to them and tells them (and this is important) that it will feed off NEGATIVE energy. It was light and funny in the beginning, everyone laughed quite a few times, night time wasn't that scary, all was good.
As the story progresses it gets more dark, nights get scarier, oh and they start getting all NEGATIVE with each other, REWIND, didn't I just say the demon feeds off negative energy? GOOD GOING RETARDS.
If you know anything about the spirit world, there is something called dead time. it starts at 2am and ends at 4 am. It basically when spirits and co do their thing. It's important to the story, but if you didn't know that fact before hand you miss out on something important. As things get more negative and the demon gets stronger not only does it fuck with them more, but the time span where things happens grows OUT of dead time, which means it's getting super strong, OH did I mention Micah borrows a OUIJA BOARD from someone. Every single person in that theatre groaned in unison when he pulled it out. now this is something i have to tell you IT CAUGHT ON FIRE. all by itself. After the cursor thing moved around on it's own, after wind started blowing in the house, after Katie and Micah got in a fight. Yeah, crazy.
Creepy things start happening out of dead time, SPOILER the demon starts to posses Katie, She gets out of bed and stands there for a good hour and forty five minutes and walks down the stairs. The demon actually PULLS her OFF the bed and INTO the hallwalk. She's just sleeping next thing you know she's been pulled out of the room by something you can see. and it closes doors and such. CRAZY SHIT. You'd have to see it.
Seriously at this point in time everyone is rolled up in a ball, there were about six or seven boys my age beside Kimmy and I...scared out of their minds.
The ending gets it's own special section, now you've all head about the super scary ending. Yeah well not a single damn person lied about that ending. I'll try not to ruin it so when you see it you get the full force of it. but I can not get Katies possessed smile out of my head. I cannot get the image of her standing over her boyfriend out of my head. I cannot get the sound of the demon walking up the stairs out of my head. Katies screams, I still hear them. The final walk up the stairs when the door is shut and you have no idea what's going to happen. The few very fast and very short seconds when everyone is on edge, your heart stops beating you can feel the hair on the back of your neck stand up and a chill in your spine. All of these things happen in a 3 second time span. Then BAM. I can't even describe the feeling to you. You jump, everyone else is right there with you, you hear some guy scream "WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON". Complete silence, everyone is staring in awe Then Katie moves towards the camera, Everyone jumps and screams again, and the movie is done. Fin, No more, that's it. As soon as the last bit of info on what happened to Katie and Micah gets off the screen people seriously run from their seats and into the light. I'm crying, I'm shaking, I am not moving from my seat to save my life. Kimmy makes me move, I continue to shake foorrrrrrrr a good eh five or ten minutes.
I called the tow truck he came and jumped my car, kimmy and I get home a little after three, watch a movie try to sleep and every single fucking noise in my house made both of us jump, so the movie left a bit of an impact on us.
I take this time to laugh at those who couldn't see this movie and brag to the fact that I did, because Every single movie that has a limited release I can never see because it never comes close enough to me. Except for this one HUZZAH.
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Showing posts with label review. Show all posts
Showing posts with label review. Show all posts
Sunday, September 27, 2009
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Orphan Review
yeah, we're kinda dumb, and yeah it kinda sucked....but after trying about 11 times....it was time to get it over with.
I'm kinda funny :D
CHECK OUT MY EXPRESSIONS!
Monday, July 27, 2009
Orphan
OH FUCKING MAN.
1. It was amazing.
2. The twist was one of the best I've seen in a movie in a long time.
3. My friend almost didn't make it through the first scene.
4. The end makes me want to punch the writers in the face.
5. I saw it before B-Sol. win. end of story.
Full review tomorrow :D
Saturday, July 25, 2009
Fear house
So after my favorite person left me to go to bed early this morning, I glided into my living room and plopped my ass on the couch on the search of a late night horror film to watch. I got stuck with Fear House [2008ish] Leave it to Chiller!
Never miss the first 15 or so minutes of a movie, it makes the rest of it confusing. Judging from the rest of the movie, I didn't miss much, if anything. Something about people go to a house and sinister forces won't let them leave. Something about using peoples fears against them. Something about a psycho freaky-ass writer, and her brother, his girlfriend, some other guy and god knows who else.
It was clearly an indie film, and they tried real hard. I almost didn't finish watching it. TV movies, every five minutes you're stuck with comercials, making it 2 hours long. Not worth my time. but I sat my ass down and watched the whole thing. The effects were really bad. They tried so hard. They really did. One girl went threw a window....but only her head got cut off...and the body didn't exit the window? A clearly fake headless body was spouting blood. just...bad. Another girl who was terrified of fire gets super burnt after a gas stove BLEW fire on her...but didn't blow up. Which doesn't happen, but when a ghosts involved it does. and the fake burned body looked more like a fake mumified monkey head attached to a stick with clothes on. That's the best way I can describe it. This was also at about a quarter to four in the morning. So who knows what I was seeing at that point.
The point of the movie which I never caught onto, was something about a brother and sister get a house...and the creepy psycho writer sister won't leave. She came up with some story about a little girl locked in the basement. But it wasn't true...then it was...then it wasn't. it wasn't consistant. I STILL DON'T KNOW IF IT WAS TRUE. Everyone but the brother ended up dying, but then he did die? and was stuck in the house to tell the story, and he was a ghost? or he could show himself to people if they broke in and kill them? FUCK IF I KNOW THE MOVIE HAD TO FUCKING ENDING.
If you've watched this movie YOU explain it to me. If you haven't, don't ever watch it! Even if it's so save your life.
...I mean, i guess they tried didn't they?
Never miss the first 15 or so minutes of a movie, it makes the rest of it confusing. Judging from the rest of the movie, I didn't miss much, if anything. Something about people go to a house and sinister forces won't let them leave. Something about using peoples fears against them. Something about a psycho freaky-ass writer, and her brother, his girlfriend, some other guy and god knows who else.
It was clearly an indie film, and they tried real hard. I almost didn't finish watching it. TV movies, every five minutes you're stuck with comercials, making it 2 hours long. Not worth my time. but I sat my ass down and watched the whole thing. The effects were really bad. They tried so hard. They really did. One girl went threw a window....but only her head got cut off...and the body didn't exit the window? A clearly fake headless body was spouting blood. just...bad. Another girl who was terrified of fire gets super burnt after a gas stove BLEW fire on her...but didn't blow up. Which doesn't happen, but when a ghosts involved it does. and the fake burned body looked more like a fake mumified monkey head attached to a stick with clothes on. That's the best way I can describe it. This was also at about a quarter to four in the morning. So who knows what I was seeing at that point.
The point of the movie which I never caught onto, was something about a brother and sister get a house...and the creepy psycho writer sister won't leave. She came up with some story about a little girl locked in the basement. But it wasn't true...then it was...then it wasn't. it wasn't consistant. I STILL DON'T KNOW IF IT WAS TRUE. Everyone but the brother ended up dying, but then he did die? and was stuck in the house to tell the story, and he was a ghost? or he could show himself to people if they broke in and kill them? FUCK IF I KNOW THE MOVIE HAD TO FUCKING ENDING.
If you've watched this movie YOU explain it to me. If you haven't, don't ever watch it! Even if it's so save your life.
...I mean, i guess they tried didn't they?
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