Saturday, January 9, 2010

My favorite vampire ever

Screw Edward and his little vampire buddies, while we're at it, every other vampire out there. I'm going out on a limb here, along with being a little childish and say that my favorite vampire is...

Yeah, Fanboy gets bit by a mosquito and he thinks he's a vampire. Great. end of story. 'Fangboy' and chum chum visit this cool little guy

Count Dr. Acula (the accountant) Yeah, we all know who it is, but since this show is for 5 year olds Fangboy and chum chum are dumb, and have no idea. I think the whole 5 year old spin on vampires is fun, and you can't deny the spin on Dracula is perfect =)

Yeah, I'm five years old and just watched that episode...but it's better than watching the day of the dead remake on Splatterday.

Sunday, November 29, 2009

I'm always late when it comes to these things

I've finally had enough time to sit my ass down and take a look at what's going on in the world of horror-blogging. My bestfriend Chuck from Zombies don't run has been keeping me updated on this little contest we all know as the Ms. Horrorslut of the year 2009... Oh wait... That's what i refer to it as. My bad. Let's try that again Ms. Horror blogosphere 09.

I'm a female. I have a vagina. No I was not invited to participate in the contest. And before you ask, I would rather overdose than be a part of this contest. You ask why? Let me tell you why my dearest readers.

This is a POP-U-LARITY CON-TEST. Think back to your high school days when voting for Homecoming Queen. Who won? the most popular of them all. This contest has absolutely nothing to do with how good the girls blogs are. Don't try and tell me what they write has something to do with it. IT. DOES. NOT. If no one reads your blog you aren't going to win. Sucks to be you. You shouldn't have entered, go be a girl and cry about it. Who is going to win? If you have to ask that you don't keep up on what's going on. The reigning queen of horror BJ-C is going to win. POPULARITY PEOPLE POPUFUCKINGLARITY.

Why the fuck does it matter who the hell the girls want to fuck. It's a fun question but NO ONE CARES. I want to know how much time the girl spends for her blog. How much money they spend on it (renting/buying movies, etc). I want to vote for the girl whose blog DESERVES to win. I don't give two shits on what the bitch looks like, how big her tits are or what dick she wants. I want to know who writes the BEST blog. They should have kept the pictures hidden until the winner was announced that way any ugly contestants had even a SMALL chance of winning. Everyone knows ugly girls don't get anywhere unless they suck a good dick.

Just being honest people.

Let me be a little bit more honest. I DONT EVEN KNOW WHO ALL ENTERED. I've never heard of 18 out of 20 blogs entered. I don't care. I put my vote in and so did a whole bunch of my friends. I'm good like that and I voted for some blog I've never even been too. Everyone needs a little chance.

Let me be SUPER honest. B-Sol is running it and we ALLLLL know he has a thing for the ladies, a BIG thing for horror ladies. I can be a first hand account of that. So it wouldn't surprise me if he's out there looking for the next female horror blogger to fall in love with. When the wife ain't doing it for you, why not go for a girl whose dyinnggggg to break into horror-blogging FAME AND POPPPULARITTYYY. If you can play that roll better than I can WORD UP!

This isn't a stab to the contestants themselves since I don't know them and I'm actually FRIENDS with BJ-C, but to just the contest itself. Can't we people of the horror universe just continue to blog about movies without popularity contests? Answer: NO clearly B-Sol has decided to pitch vagina against vagina in an all out war to find out who tops the lot of the female horror bloggers.

To quote Brand New's 'Last chance to lose your keys' "This isn't high school, this isn't high school, this isn't high school......"

Let's just pray to god the winner doesn't attempt to do a MR. horrormanslut of the year 2009 contest.

Sunday, September 27, 2009

Fright Night

So Friday I'm going to Fright Night at Kennywood. Or atleast....I should be.

I'll bring you guys quite the story from it I'm sure.

Take for example last year. I was so scared I bawled my eyes out.

If you don't know what firhgt night is, they take Kennywood, and make it a huge haunted house with mini haunted houses inside. and you get to ride all the rides for 6 hours and get the shit scared out of you. it's a good time.

You guys will really be able to see how big of a pussy I really am. and I quote 'mommy why is that girl crying, it's not even like this stuff is real' - a little I'd say 7 year old girl.

I hate little kids.

Paranormal Activity and my night from (almost) Hell..probably with spoilers

I'm not posting on just Paranormal Activity, If I did you wouldn't get the whole story of the night, which is pretty, interesting, funny, and worth it.

My best friend and I get to State College, and the movie theatre. We go see I hope They Serve Beer In Hell, Tucker Max is the man, but it's not horror so it doesn't matter, Flash forward to after I had two monsters and we drove around town, continue to flash forward to about a little after ten I go to start my car to drive down the road to Sheetz, it doesn't start. Yup, car battery = dead.
It would be shit right out of a horror film IF we hadn't been sitting in the movie theatre parking lot. Not so scary. I'm telling you this to show my extreme loyalty to the horror genra. don't understand, you will in a minute... keep reading. A (cute) theatre worker tries to jump my car with no luck, I call my mother and she starts trying to figure out what the fuck to do without anyone coming to get us.
There was no way in fucking hell I was driving all the way to State College, on Penn State homcoming, to see this movie that basically no one can see, that I was lucky enough to see, just to have to wait outside the theatre for a fucking tow truck to come and jump it. NO FUCKING WAY. I had already bought the tickets anyway.
I would rather be stuck an hour from my house in a parking lot all night with my best friend than run the risk of missing out on this movie that I KNOW NOTHING ABOUT. Just to bring you guys a review.
Seriously that's dedication.

To the moooovie. Now all I knew going into it that it was a fake-o-mentary, and a ghost, and it scared the shit out of people. That's it. Not much to go on right? Actually it was the perfect amount of info to have, I didn't know what happened, there fore I could really get into it.
It started off pretty slow, you were introduced to Katie and Micah a couple that has too much nice shit for what they do in life. Katie is a freak that's been followed by what we find is a demon since she was 8. Micah buys a camera. BAM you have a documentary type movie. A psychic comes to the house to talk to them and tells them (and this is important) that it will feed off NEGATIVE energy. It was light and funny in the beginning, everyone laughed quite a few times, night time wasn't that scary, all was good.
As the story progresses it gets more dark, nights get scarier, oh and they start getting all NEGATIVE with each other, REWIND, didn't I just say the demon feeds off negative energy? GOOD GOING RETARDS.
If you know anything about the spirit world, there is something called dead time. it starts at 2am and ends at 4 am. It basically when spirits and co do their thing. It's important to the story, but if you didn't know that fact before hand you miss out on something important. As things get more negative and the demon gets stronger not only does it fuck with them more, but the time span where things happens grows OUT of dead time, which means it's getting super strong, OH did I mention Micah borrows a OUIJA BOARD from someone. Every single person in that theatre groaned in unison when he pulled it out. now this is something i have to tell you IT CAUGHT ON FIRE. all by itself. After the cursor thing moved around on it's own, after wind started blowing in the house, after Katie and Micah got in a fight. Yeah, crazy.

Creepy things start happening out of dead time, SPOILER the demon starts to posses Katie, She gets out of bed and stands there for a good hour and forty five minutes and walks down the stairs. The demon actually PULLS her OFF the bed and INTO the hallwalk. She's just sleeping next thing you know she's been pulled out of the room by something you can see. and it closes doors and such. CRAZY SHIT. You'd have to see it.
Seriously at this point in time everyone is rolled up in a ball, there were about six or seven boys my age beside Kimmy and I...scared out of their minds.

The ending gets it's own special section, now you've all head about the super scary ending. Yeah well not a single damn person lied about that ending. I'll try not to ruin it so when you see it you get the full force of it. but I can not get Katies possessed smile out of my head. I cannot get the image of her standing over her boyfriend out of my head. I cannot get the sound of the demon walking up the stairs out of my head. Katies screams, I still hear them. The final walk up the stairs when the door is shut and you have no idea what's going to happen. The few very fast and very short seconds when everyone is on edge, your heart stops beating you can feel the hair on the back of your neck stand up and a chill in your spine. All of these things happen in a 3 second time span. Then BAM. I can't even describe the feeling to you. You jump, everyone else is right there with you, you hear some guy scream "WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON". Complete silence, everyone is staring in awe Then Katie moves towards the camera, Everyone jumps and screams again, and the movie is done. Fin, No more, that's it. As soon as the last bit of info on what happened to Katie and Micah gets off the screen people seriously run from their seats and into the light. I'm crying, I'm shaking, I am not moving from my seat to save my life. Kimmy makes me move, I continue to shake foorrrrrrrr a good eh five or ten minutes.

I called the tow truck he came and jumped my car, kimmy and I get home a little after three, watch a movie try to sleep and every single fucking noise in my house made both of us jump, so the movie left a bit of an impact on us.

I take this time to laugh at those who couldn't see this movie and brag to the fact that I did, because Every single movie that has a limited release I can never see because it never comes close enough to me. Except for this one HUZZAH.

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Saturday, September 26, 2009

I'm lucky enough

To have the amazing chance too see the movie EVERYONE is talking about (and I know nothing about) PARANORMAL ACTIVITY.

I'm dragging my best friend all the way to State College to see it, I've already got the tickets bought, and I am ready to go.

Also movies in this plan, I hope they serve beer in hell, ANDDDD probably Jennifer's Body.

I'm Awesome :D

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Something smells fishy...

I'm going to rant in a calm manner.

Sooooo Let the right one in, AKA let me in AKA.....FISH HEAD.

We're gonna play this little game called, this remake is never happening and it's a figment of our imagination, like Tyler Durden in Fight Club.

Now really, Fish Head has absolutely nothing to do with vampires, and has no connection to the book and original movie. Matt Reeves cannot be that big of an idiot.

Normally for a movie to film without fan girls or...haters? all over the set they give the movie a fake name and away they go. No one knows what's going on, therefore production goes off without a hitch. Calling Let me in fish head would do this. Let's hope Matt Reeves isn't an idiot for that.

but if that's not the case..... mattreevesisprobablygoingtohellandsomeoneisgoingtothrowabikeandhim.

if you don't understand the throwing a bike part, you haven't been following the g-20 summit going on in my glorious town of Pittsburgh.

Now let's rant as I normally would.

Let the horror community bow its head in shame and pray to god that this is just the title they've given it so people like me dont like...try and blow up the set or something as ridiculous.