Fright Night

So Friday I'm going to Fright Night at Kennywood. Or atleast....I should be.

I'll bring you guys quite the story from it I'm sure.

Take for example last year. I was so scared I bawled my eyes out.

If you don't know what firhgt night is, they take Kennywood, and make it a huge haunted house with mini haunted houses inside. and you get to ride all the rides for 6 hours and get the shit scared out of you. it's a good time.

You guys will really be able to see how big of a pussy I really am. and I quote 'mommy why is that girl crying, it's not even like this stuff is real' - a little I'd say 7 year old girl.

I hate little kids.

Paranormal Activity and my night from (almost) Hell..probably with spoilers

I'm not posting on just Paranormal Activity, If I did you wouldn't get the whole story of the night, which is pretty, interesting, funny, and worth it.

My best friend and I get to State College, and the movie theatre. We go see I hope They Serve Beer In Hell, Tucker Max is the man, but it's not horror so it doesn't matter, Flash forward to after I had two monsters and we drove around town, continue to flash forward to about a little after ten I go to start my car to drive down the road to Sheetz, it doesn't start. Yup, car battery = dead.
It would be shit right out of a horror film IF we hadn't been sitting in the movie theatre parking lot. Not so scary. I'm telling you this to show my extreme loyalty to the horror genra. don't understand, you will in a minute... keep reading. A (cute) theatre worker tries to jump my car with no luck, I call my mother and she starts trying to figure out what the fuck to do without anyone coming to get us.
There was no way in fucking hell I was driving all the way to State College, on Penn State homcoming, to see this movie that basically no one can see, that I was lucky enough to see, just to have to wait outside the theatre for a fucking tow truck to come and jump it. NO FUCKING WAY. I had already bought the tickets anyway.
I would rather be stuck an hour from my house in a parking lot all night with my best friend than run the risk of missing out on this movie that I KNOW NOTHING ABOUT. Just to bring you guys a review.
Seriously that's dedication.

To the moooovie. Now all I knew going into it that it was a fake-o-mentary, and a ghost, and it scared the shit out of people. That's it. Not much to go on right? Actually it was the perfect amount of info to have, I didn't know what happened, there fore I could really get into it.
It started off pretty slow, you were introduced to Katie and Micah a couple that has too much nice shit for what they do in life. Katie is a freak that's been followed by what we find is a demon since she was 8. Micah buys a camera. BAM you have a documentary type movie. A psychic comes to the house to talk to them and tells them (and this is important) that it will feed off NEGATIVE energy. It was light and funny in the beginning, everyone laughed quite a few times, night time wasn't that scary, all was good.
As the story progresses it gets more dark, nights get scarier, oh and they start getting all NEGATIVE with each other, REWIND, didn't I just say the demon feeds off negative energy? GOOD GOING RETARDS.
If you know anything about the spirit world, there is something called dead time. it starts at 2am and ends at 4 am. It basically when spirits and co do their thing. It's important to the story, but if you didn't know that fact before hand you miss out on something important. As things get more negative and the demon gets stronger not only does it fuck with them more, but the time span where things happens grows OUT of dead time, which means it's getting super strong, OH did I mention Micah borrows a OUIJA BOARD from someone. Every single person in that theatre groaned in unison when he pulled it out. now this is something i have to tell you IT CAUGHT ON FIRE. all by itself. After the cursor thing moved around on it's own, after wind started blowing in the house, after Katie and Micah got in a fight. Yeah, crazy.
Creepy things start happening out of dead time, SPOILER the demon starts to posses Katie, She gets out of bed and stands there for a good hour and forty five minutes and walks down the stairs. The demon actually PULLS her OFF the bed and INTO the hallwalk. She's just sleeping next thing you know she's been pulled out of the room by something you can see. and it closes doors and such. CRAZY SHIT. You'd have to see it.
Seriously at this point in time everyone is rolled up in a ball, there were about six or seven boys my age beside Kimmy and I...scared out of their minds.

The ending gets it's own special section, now you've all head about the super scary ending. Yeah well not a single damn person lied about that ending. I'll try not to ruin it so when you see it you get the full force of it. but I can not get Katies possessed smile out of my head. I cannot get the image of her standing over her boyfriend out of my head. I cannot get the sound of the demon walking up the stairs out of my head. Katies screams, I still hear them. The final walk up the stairs when the door is shut and you have no idea what's going to happen. The few very fast and very short seconds when everyone is on edge, your heart stops beating you can feel the hair on the back of your neck stand up and a chill in your spine. All of these things happen in a 3 second time span. Then BAM. I can't even describe the feeling to you. You jump, everyone else is right there with you, you hear some guy scream "WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON". Complete silence, everyone is staring in awe Then Katie moves towards the camera, Everyone jumps and screams again, and the movie is done. Fin, No more, that's it. As soon as the last bit of info on what happened to Katie and Micah gets off the screen people seriously run from their seats and into the light. I'm crying, I'm shaking, I am not moving from my seat to save my life. Kimmy makes me move, I continue to shake foorrrrrrrr a good eh five or ten minutes.

I called the tow truck he came and jumped my car, kimmy and I get home a little after three, watch a movie try to sleep and every single fucking noise in my house made both of us jump, so the movie left a bit of an impact on us.



I take this time to laugh at those who couldn't see this movie and brag to the fact that I did, because Every single movie that has a limited release I can never see because it never comes close enough to me. Except for this one HUZZAH.


Follow me on twitter.

I'm lucky enough

To have the amazing chance too see the movie EVERYONE is talking about (and I know nothing about) PARANORMAL ACTIVITY.

I'm dragging my best friend all the way to State College to see it, I've already got the tickets bought, and I am ready to go.

Also movies in this plan, I hope they serve beer in hell, ANDDDD probably Jennifer's Body.


I'm Awesome :D

Something smells fishy...

I'm going to rant in a calm manner.


Sooooo Let the right one in, AKA let me in AKA.....FISH HEAD.

We're gonna play this little game called, this remake is never happening and it's a figment of our imagination, like Tyler Durden in Fight Club.

Now really, Fish Head has absolutely nothing to do with vampires, and has no connection to the book and original movie. Matt Reeves cannot be that big of an idiot.

Normally for a movie to film without fan girls or...haters? all over the set they give the movie a fake name and away they go. No one knows what's going on, therefore production goes off without a hitch. Calling Let me in fish head would do this. Let's hope Matt Reeves isn't an idiot for that.

but if that's not the case..... mattreevesisprobablygoingtohellandsomeoneisgoingtothrowabikeandhim.

if you don't understand the throwing a bike part, you haven't been following the g-20 summit going on in my glorious town of Pittsburgh.


Now let's rant as I normally would.
WHAT THE FUCK IS SWIMMING AROUND MATTS LITTLE BRAIN OF HIS TO THINK THAT RENAMING IT FISH HEAD WILL MAKE HIM MR. FUCKING AWESOME. NO MATT IT MAKES YOU LOOK LIKE A GOD DAMN FUCKING RETARD. YOU ARE A TOOL. CHOKE ON A DICK.

Let the horror community bow its head in shame and pray to god that this is just the title they've given it so people like me dont like...try and blow up the set or something as ridiculous.

Owen....and.....Abby?

RANT RANT RANT.

Dear Let The Right One In remake,

oh sorry, forgive me, I meant to say re-ADAPTATION. You can go choke on my half-lesbo balls, and choke on my half-lesbo dick.

Thanks,

Andrea.

I think I'd rather keep not having the internet. It keeps me from finding out shitty information.

Owen and Abby? What was Abby's name originally? Arwin? WHAT THE FUCK MATT REEVES WHAT THE FUCK.

Maybe adding Philip Seymour Hoffman into the mix will help the movie out....but I fear not.

21st Century Terrors: A Look Back at Horror in the Aughts

What’s up people—B-Sol of The Vault of Horror here, spreading the love with a guest post for WritRightWrote. When the delightful Ms. ALK asked if I might want to contribute to her growing blog, I thought, what better opportunity to roll out a new project I’ve been mulling around in my head?

With autumn of 2009 upon us, the first decade of the 21st century is at an end. And as far as I’m concerned, that means it’s time to take a stroll down memory lane and reassess the films and the trends that made the horror genre what it was in the past ten years. That’s right, folks: I feel a retrospective coming on.

Over at the Vault, I’ll soon be breaking down the decade year-by-year over the course of ten posts. But for right now, let’s introduce the whole thing right here at WRW, with a general overview of the decade of zombies, torture, remake fever, and so much more…

FOREIGN FRIGHTS

From an American standpoint, the past decade was a time of almost unprecedented exposure to horror cinema from around the world. Most likely this was due in large part to the power of the internet. But whatever the cause, it allowed us to enjoy movies from around the world easier and more commonly than ever before.

Most notably, this could be seen with the so-called J-horror and K-horror of Japan and South Korea. Some of the films were even made at the tail end of the 1990s, such as Ringu, but came to prominence in the U.S as the new decade was born.

In addition to the Asian fare, Europe played a large part in flavoring our horror palate, specifically the French, who carved out a whole sub-genre of gore flicks for themselves thanks to films like Brother of the Wolf and Inside. Spain also threw its hat into the ring with movies such as The Orphanage and [REC], which for my money may have been the single most terrifying film of the decade. Then of course, there was Sweden's sublimely beautiful contribution, Let the Right One In, which many have called the finest vampire film ever made.

THE ZOMBIE RENAISSANCE

Looking back at the ‘00s, one of the amazing things that really stand out is how the zombie movie made such a huge comeback. A staple of the late ‘70s and early ‘80s in particular, the subgenre had been out of fashion until video games like Resident Evil and House of the Dead brought it back into the forefront.

It was Paul W.S. Anderson’s cinematic Resident Evil adaptation that kicked off the movie craze in 2002. Before long, we had zombie comedies like Shaun of the Dead, Undead and Fido; remakes of old classics like Dawn of the Dead and Day of the Dead; and even the old master himself, George A. Romero, stepping back onto the scene with two new entries in his series, Land of the Dead and Diary of the Dead.

And who could forget Danny Boyle’s superb duo of 28 Days Later and 28 Weeks Later, which helped popularize the concept of fast-moving zombies, and are among the most well-made horror films of all time?

THE RISE OF TORTURE PORN

Without question, the decade’s most controversial genre development has been the growth of a subgenre that has divided the fan base pretty dramatically. There are some who love and relish it, while others condemn it for either being too intense or too lazy. However you feel about it, there’s no doubt that torture porn certainly made its impact on the decade.

Early on in the aughts, movies like Captivity and Feardotcom basically set this new movement in motion. But it was specifically two monumental franchises, Saw and Hostel, which really brought it into its own. The Saw films, which gave us the figure of Jigsaw and took some inspiration from last decade’s Se7en, ventured more and more into the torture porn aesthetic with each installment. Eli Roth’s Hostel, however, was right there from the very beginning, taking the genre to places it had never been before, making even some die-hard gorehounds question if things had finally gone too far.

Nevertheless, there must be an audience for it, because it has been quite successful, and continues to be highly influential to this day. Interestingly enough, this has led to a dramatic rise in gore as compared to the 1990s, and this may in fact be the bloodiest era of horror’s history thus far.

WHEN IN DOUBT, REMAKE

In the opinion of many, the saddest development of the decade has been the dramatic increase in the number of remakes that studios are relying on to bump up their bottom lines. It seems that for many, it is far easier and safer to bank on a proven commodity or “brand”, if you will, than to take some chances and roll the dice on original material.

For this reason, we have seen an unprecedented number of genre classics redone left and right over the past few years, including the likes of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, The Hills Have Eyes, Black Christmas, Halloween, Friday the 13th, The Amityville Horror, etc.

However, there have been a few bright lights amongst this depressing trend, remakes such as the aforementioned Hills Have Eyes, Last House on the Left, and Dawn of the Dead, which brought something new to the table and at least made for enjoyable viewing despite the creative short-cut they represented.

* * * * * * * * *

All in all, this has truly been a decade like no other in the history of our beloved horror genre. I’ve tried to encapsulate as much as I could into this little introduction, but obviously this is just a skimming of the surface. For a more in-depth, year-by-year treatment of the decade that was, check The Vault of Horror for future installments (yes, Andrea, I’m a shameless blog whore). Thanks again to the mistress of WRW for this opportunity to officially kick-off the Vault’s newest project.