Sunday, November 29, 2009
I'm always late when it comes to these things
Sunday, September 27, 2009
Fright Night
I'll bring you guys quite the story from it I'm sure.
Take for example last year. I was so scared I bawled my eyes out.
If you don't know what firhgt night is, they take Kennywood, and make it a huge haunted house with mini haunted houses inside. and you get to ride all the rides for 6 hours and get the shit scared out of you. it's a good time.
You guys will really be able to see how big of a pussy I really am. and I quote 'mommy why is that girl crying, it's not even like this stuff is real' - a little I'd say 7 year old girl.
I hate little kids.
Paranormal Activity and my night from (almost) Hell..probably with spoilers
My best friend and I get to State College, and the movie theatre. We go see I hope They Serve Beer In Hell, Tucker Max is the man, but it's not horror so it doesn't matter, Flash forward to after I had two monsters and we drove around town, continue to flash forward to about a little after ten I go to start my car to drive down the road to Sheetz, it doesn't start. Yup, car battery = dead.
It would be shit right out of a horror film IF we hadn't been sitting in the movie theatre parking lot. Not so scary. I'm telling you this to show my extreme loyalty to the horror genra. don't understand, you will in a minute... keep reading. A (cute) theatre worker tries to jump my car with no luck, I call my mother and she starts trying to figure out what the fuck to do without anyone coming to get us.
There was no way in fucking hell I was driving all the way to State College, on Penn State homcoming, to see this movie that basically no one can see, that I was lucky enough to see, just to have to wait outside the theatre for a fucking tow truck to come and jump it. NO FUCKING WAY. I had already bought the tickets anyway.
I would rather be stuck an hour from my house in a parking lot all night with my best friend than run the risk of missing out on this movie that I KNOW NOTHING ABOUT. Just to bring you guys a review.
Seriously that's dedication.
To the moooovie. Now all I knew going into it that it was a fake-o-mentary, and a ghost, and it scared the shit out of people. That's it. Not much to go on right? Actually it was the perfect amount of info to have, I didn't know what happened, there fore I could really get into it.
It started off pretty slow, you were introduced to Katie and Micah a couple that has too much nice shit for what they do in life. Katie is a freak that's been followed by what we find is a demon since she was 8. Micah buys a camera. BAM you have a documentary type movie. A psychic comes to the house to talk to them and tells them (and this is important) that it will feed off NEGATIVE energy. It was light and funny in the beginning, everyone laughed quite a few times, night time wasn't that scary, all was good.
As the story progresses it gets more dark, nights get scarier, oh and they start getting all NEGATIVE with each other, REWIND, didn't I just say the demon feeds off negative energy? GOOD GOING RETARDS.
If you know anything about the spirit world, there is something called dead time. it starts at 2am and ends at 4 am. It basically when spirits and co do their thing. It's important to the story, but if you didn't know that fact before hand you miss out on something important. As things get more negative and the demon gets stronger not only does it fuck with them more, but the time span where things happens grows OUT of dead time, which means it's getting super strong, OH did I mention Micah borrows a OUIJA BOARD from someone. Every single person in that theatre groaned in unison when he pulled it out. now this is something i have to tell you IT CAUGHT ON FIRE. all by itself. After the cursor thing moved around on it's own, after wind started blowing in the house, after Katie and Micah got in a fight. Yeah, crazy.
Creepy things start happening out of dead time, SPOILER the demon starts to posses Katie, She gets out of bed and stands there for a good hour and forty five minutes and walks down the stairs. The demon actually PULLS her OFF the bed and INTO the hallwalk. She's just sleeping next thing you know she's been pulled out of the room by something you can see. and it closes doors and such. CRAZY SHIT. You'd have to see it.
Seriously at this point in time everyone is rolled up in a ball, there were about six or seven boys my age beside Kimmy and I...scared out of their minds.
The ending gets it's own special section, now you've all head about the super scary ending. Yeah well not a single damn person lied about that ending. I'll try not to ruin it so when you see it you get the full force of it. but I can not get Katies possessed smile out of my head. I cannot get the image of her standing over her boyfriend out of my head. I cannot get the sound of the demon walking up the stairs out of my head. Katies screams, I still hear them. The final walk up the stairs when the door is shut and you have no idea what's going to happen. The few very fast and very short seconds when everyone is on edge, your heart stops beating you can feel the hair on the back of your neck stand up and a chill in your spine. All of these things happen in a 3 second time span. Then BAM. I can't even describe the feeling to you. You jump, everyone else is right there with you, you hear some guy scream "WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON". Complete silence, everyone is staring in awe Then Katie moves towards the camera, Everyone jumps and screams again, and the movie is done. Fin, No more, that's it. As soon as the last bit of info on what happened to Katie and Micah gets off the screen people seriously run from their seats and into the light. I'm crying, I'm shaking, I am not moving from my seat to save my life. Kimmy makes me move, I continue to shake foorrrrrrrr a good eh five or ten minutes.
I called the tow truck he came and jumped my car, kimmy and I get home a little after three, watch a movie try to sleep and every single fucking noise in my house made both of us jump, so the movie left a bit of an impact on us.
I take this time to laugh at those who couldn't see this movie and brag to the fact that I did, because Every single movie that has a limited release I can never see because it never comes close enough to me. Except for this one HUZZAH.
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Saturday, September 26, 2009
I'm lucky enough
I'm dragging my best friend all the way to State College to see it, I've already got the tickets bought, and I am ready to go.
Also movies in this plan, I hope they serve beer in hell, ANDDDD probably Jennifer's Body.
I'm Awesome :D
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Something smells fishy...
Sooooo Let the right one in, AKA let me in AKA.....FISH HEAD.
We're gonna play this little game called, this remake is never happening and it's a figment of our imagination, like Tyler Durden in Fight Club.
Now really, Fish Head has absolutely nothing to do with vampires, and has no connection to the book and original movie. Matt Reeves cannot be that big of an idiot.
Normally for a movie to film without fan girls or...haters? all over the set they give the movie a fake name and away they go. No one knows what's going on, therefore production goes off without a hitch. Calling Let me in fish head would do this. Let's hope Matt Reeves isn't an idiot for that.
but if that's not the case..... mattreevesisprobablygoingtohellandsomeoneisgoingtothrowabikeandhim.
if you don't understand the throwing a bike part, you haven't been following the g-20 summit going on in my glorious town of Pittsburgh.
Now let's rant as I normally would.
WHAT THE FUCK IS SWIMMING AROUND MATTS LITTLE BRAIN OF HIS TO THINK THAT RENAMING IT FISH HEAD WILL MAKE HIM MR. FUCKING AWESOME. NO MATT IT MAKES YOU LOOK LIKE A GOD DAMN FUCKING RETARD. YOU ARE A TOOL. CHOKE ON A DICK.
Let the horror community bow its head in shame and pray to god that this is just the title they've given it so people like me dont like...try and blow up the set or something as ridiculous.
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Owen....and.....Abby?
Saturday, September 5, 2009
21st Century Terrors: A Look Back at Horror in the Aughts
With autumn of 2009 upon us, the first decade of the 21st century is at an end. And as far as I’m concerned, that means it’s time to take a stroll down memory lane and reassess the films and the trends that made the horror genre what it was in the past ten years. That’s right, folks: I feel a retrospective coming on.
Over at the Vault, I’ll soon be breaking down the decade year-by-year over the course of ten posts. But for right now, let’s introduce the whole thing right here at WRW, with a general overview of the decade of zombies, torture, remake fever, and so much more…
FOREIGN FRIGHTS
From an American standpoint, the past decade was a time of almost unprecedented exposure to horror cinema from around the world. Most likely this was due in large part to the power of the internet. But whatever the cause, it allowed us to enjoy movies from around the world easier and more commonly than ever before.
Most notably, this could be seen with the so-called J-horror and K-horror of Japan and South Korea. Some of the films were even made at the tail end of the 1990s, such as Ringu, but came to prominence in the U.S as the new decade was born.
In addition to the Asian fare, Europe played a large part in flavoring our horror palate, specifically the French, who carved out a whole sub-genre of gore flicks for themselves thanks to films like Brother of the Wolf and Inside. Spain also threw its hat into the ring with movies such as The Orphanage and [REC], which for my money may have been the single most terrifying film of the decade. Then of course, there was Sweden's sublimely beautiful contribution, Let the Right One In, which many have called the finest vampire film ever made.
THE ZOMBIE RENAISSANCE
Looking back at the ‘00s, one of the amazing things that really stand out is how the zombie movie made such a huge comeback. A staple of the late ‘70s and early ‘80s in particular, the subgenre had been out of fashion until video games like Resident Evil and House of the Dead brought it back into the forefront.
It was Paul W.S. Anderson’s cinematic Resident Evil adaptation that kicked off the movie craze in 2002. Before long, we had zombie comedies like Shaun of the Dead, Undead and Fido; remakes of old classics like Dawn of the Dead and Day of the Dead; and even the old master himself, George A. Romero, stepping back onto the scene with two new entries in his series, Land of the Dead and Diary of the Dead.
And who could forget Danny Boyle’s superb duo of 28 Days Later and 28 Weeks Later, which helped popularize the concept of fast-moving zombies, and are among the most well-made horror films of all time?
THE RISE OF TORTURE PORN
Without question, the decade’s most controversial genre development has been the growth of a subgenre that has divided the fan base pretty dramatically. There are some who love and relish it, while others condemn it for either being too intense or too lazy. However you feel about it, there’s no doubt that torture porn certainly made its impact on the decade.
Early on in the aughts, movies like Captivity and Feardotcom basically set this new movement in motion. But it was specifically two monumental franchises, Saw and Hostel, which really brought it into its own. The Saw films, which gave us the figure of Jigsaw and took some inspiration from last decade’s Se7en, ventured more and more into the torture porn aesthetic with each installment. Eli Roth’s Hostel, however, was right there from the very beginning, taking the genre to places it had never been before, making even some die-hard gorehounds question if things had finally gone too far.
Nevertheless, there must be an audience for it, because it has been quite successful, and continues to be highly influential to this day. Interestingly enough, this has led to a dramatic rise in gore as compared to the 1990s, and this may in fact be the bloodiest era of horror’s history thus far.
WHEN IN DOUBT, REMAKE
In the opinion of many, the saddest development of the decade has been the dramatic increase in the number of remakes that studios are relying on to bump up their bottom lines. It seems that for many, it is far easier and safer to bank on a proven commodity or “brand”, if you will, than to take some chances and roll the dice on original material.
For this reason, we have seen an unprecedented number of genre classics redone left and right over the past few years, including the likes of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, The Hills Have Eyes, Black Christmas, Halloween, Friday the 13th, The Amityville Horror, etc.
However, there have been a few bright lights amongst this depressing trend, remakes such as the aforementioned Hills Have Eyes, Last House on the Left, and Dawn of the Dead, which brought something new to the table and at least made for enjoyable viewing despite the creative short-cut they represented.
* * * * * * * * *
All in all, this has truly been a decade like no other in the history of our beloved horror genre. I’ve tried to encapsulate as much as I could into this little introduction, but obviously this is just a skimming of the surface. For a more in-depth, year-by-year treatment of the decade that was, check The Vault of Horror for future installments (yes, Andrea, I’m a shameless blog whore). Thanks again to the mistress of WRW for this opportunity to officially kick-off the Vault’s newest project.
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Guest post by the wonderful author Seamus Cooper
The most amazing Seamus Cooper tweeted me the other day and told me he'd write a post for me. After emailing him, he emailed this to me yesterday. I think it's fantastic. I hope to bring him back in the future for an up date, So let me shut up and let his post start. And seriously, go buy his book.
Hey, blogosphere! It’s your pal Seamus Cooper, author of the Mall of Cthulhu, and, more importantly in this case, guy who does not have finals this week! (The last time I had finals was, I believe, late in the Polk administration.)
So: no time for a horror movie this week? (Maybe you have finals or something). Why not pick up a horror comic instead? Here are some suggestions:
Atomic Robo: The Shadow From Beyond Time. (Red 5 Comics). Though Atomic Robo is a really fun and lighthearted adventure comic, this particular volume has Robo fighting a Lovecraftian horror from beyond time and space through many decades. Ol’ H.P. Lovecraft Not scary, but tons of fun. himself (as gibbering madman) makes an appearance in issue 1!
We Kill Monsters (Red 5 Comics). So what if two brothers who ran a garage ran into some kind of homicidal demon that they killed, but in killing it, one of them wound up with a big, green, muscular demon arm with big, scary claws? And then they had a whole bunch more monsters to kill? Sometimes with shovels? You’d have a kickass comic, that’s what.
North 40 (Wildstorm). This one is actually scary. We’re only 2 issues in, but so far, hoo boy this is a winner. Something very awful happens in a small desert town one night. When everyone wakes up, most of them have been horribly transformed and their town is literally hell on earth. Lots of great, creepy images.
Creepy (Dark Horse). The next issue isn’t coming out until October, but you can still find issue 1 around. If you’re not familiar with Creepy, it was a black-and-white horror anthology comic book in the 60’s and 70’s featuring nasty little stories with a twist in the Tales from the Crypt vein. Dark Horse has collected many of the originals in big, beautiful, and pricey hardcover editions (they should run you about 50 bucks a pop). But even more exciting and, more importantly, affordable, they’ve brought back Creepy as a new comic book drawn and written by all kinds of talented people. It’s in black and white and features nasty little stories with a twist. And it is excellent.
If trade paperbacks are more your style, the Marvel Essentials series has lots of great stuff to choose from. I’m currently working my way through Essential Man-Thing, which features a shambling swamp creature and completely nutty (but in a good way) writing that features lots of trans-dimensional demon fighting and nearly endless repetition of the sentence “Whatever knows fear burns at the Man-Thing’s touch!” (There are collections of all Marvel’s horror comics from the 70’s, so if werewolves or vampires are more your style, you can get those too.)
Finally, if you are not yet reading The Walking Dead, go buy volume 1 right now. It’s a familiar story of survivors after a zombie apocalypse, but it’s got much more emotional realism and power than pretty much anything else set in this universe. It’s an incredible tour de force full of characters who feel like real people, and, as in all the best zombie stories, the real horror is in the way the survivors interact with each other. Well, that and the awesome zombie killing.
That’s it for me. Back to your regularly scheduled blog entries as soon as finals are over. If you enjoy my smartass, irreverent take on horror, please consider buying my book, The Mall of Cthulhu.
Friday, August 21, 2009
Surprise, surprise
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Awwwe Sheeeeeet
Thursday, August 13, 2009
True Blood...?
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
Say wha?
Thursday, July 30, 2009
The Collector
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Orphan Review
Monday, July 27, 2009
Orphan
Saturday, July 25, 2009
Fear house
Never miss the first 15 or so minutes of a movie, it makes the rest of it confusing. Judging from the rest of the movie, I didn't miss much, if anything. Something about people go to a house and sinister forces won't let them leave. Something about using peoples fears against them. Something about a psycho freaky-ass writer, and her brother, his girlfriend, some other guy and god knows who else.
It was clearly an indie film, and they tried real hard. I almost didn't finish watching it. TV movies, every five minutes you're stuck with comercials, making it 2 hours long. Not worth my time. but I sat my ass down and watched the whole thing. The effects were really bad. They tried so hard. They really did. One girl went threw a window....but only her head got cut off...and the body didn't exit the window? A clearly fake headless body was spouting blood. just...bad. Another girl who was terrified of fire gets super burnt after a gas stove BLEW fire on her...but didn't blow up. Which doesn't happen, but when a ghosts involved it does. and the fake burned body looked more like a fake mumified monkey head attached to a stick with clothes on. That's the best way I can describe it. This was also at about a quarter to four in the morning. So who knows what I was seeing at that point.
The point of the movie which I never caught onto, was something about a brother and sister get a house...and the creepy psycho writer sister won't leave. She came up with some story about a little girl locked in the basement. But it wasn't true...then it was...then it wasn't. it wasn't consistant. I STILL DON'T KNOW IF IT WAS TRUE. Everyone but the brother ended up dying, but then he did die? and was stuck in the house to tell the story, and he was a ghost? or he could show himself to people if they broke in and kill them? FUCK IF I KNOW THE MOVIE HAD TO FUCKING ENDING.
If you've watched this movie YOU explain it to me. If you haven't, don't ever watch it! Even if it's so save your life.
...I mean, i guess they tried didn't they?
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Let Me In?
Monday, June 22, 2009
Introduction.
The name of my blog has...absolutely nothing to do with horror. I'm trying to change it up a bit. It doesn't help I'm not creative and wasn't going to figure out a name to save my life.
I'm nineteen years old. but that DOES NOT I repeat does NOT mean I have absolutely no idea what i'm talking about and doesn't mean I've never watched a good horror film.
This won't be your normal blog. I won't have normal things, no themes, everything will just come and my brain spews things out. I'll throw non-horror related things into the mix, and I'll even bring my friend Jamie in to tell you guys why the hell she's terrified of Chucky.
Since I'm leaving for Virginia Beach tomorrow, I won't update this much until I come back.
So until then....